Where They Found Her: A Novel by Kimberly McCreight

Author:Kimberly McCreight [McCreight, Kimberly]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2015-04-14T04:00:00+00:00

MOLLY

MAY 18, 2013

What I told Dr. Zomer was not the whole truth. I didn’t even tell Justin that. But I think he knew. Of course he did.

I did drop a glass and I did slip and cut my hand a little when I was trying to clean it up. That’s all true. But when I saw the blood on my hand, I didn’t feel upset or worried. I felt relieved. Like the world had been rebalanced.

I don’t even remember picking up the piece of glass that I cut my arm with. But I did. I must have. I do remember being careful not to cause any real damage, in my nonexpert medical opinion. Because I could have if I’d wanted to. I could have done so much more.

And then Ella started to cry—one of her night terrors. And so I ran to her without thinking, because I could do that by then, comfort her after a bad dream. I didn’t realize how much that small cut was already bleeding.

I had Ella in my arms when Justin came home a few minutes later. As soon as he saw us, he started yelling: Where’s she bleeding? Where’s she bleeding? It wasn’t until I looked down that I saw Ella’s head was covered in blood.

A second later, I passed out. Luckily, Justin caught me—and Ella, thank God—as I fell. Next thing I knew, the paramedics were lifting me into the ambulance. Halfway to the hospital, they realized that the cut to my arm wasn’t serious. That I’d passed out not from blood loss but from the sight of it all over my daughter.

Justin lied and told the paramedics that he had been there, seen the whole thing. That it had been an accident, me and the broken glass and my arm. And watching Justin do that for me, lie like his life depended on it, like my life depended on it—and it might have, they could have hospitalized me against my will—I have never loved him more.

And so when he’d insisted the next day that I go see Dr. Zomer, I went. It was the least I could do.

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